What A Long Day It Has Been For Me Tonite.....

Just came back at 5.20 AM.

Earlier today.....

Denise invited me for a BBQ party at Ivy's house at 6.30 PM. Unfortunately, i was kinda lost my way to the house. Left Ivy's house address back in my email inbox. Feeling kinda stupid at that moment for not printing out the address earlier on. Tried to called Denise and Samantha for directions, but both of them were not picking up the calls. After like 30 minutes circling the Pandan Perdana area, decided to like abandoned the whole BBQ plan thingy.

Lat called me asking where i am. He's with his girlfriend, Huda at Ampang. Decided to tag in. Met up with their friends, Fran and his girlfriend, Hazel. Joined them up for a drink. Showed Lat my new haircut that i've got. It's just like the current hair style that i have at the moment, just a bit shorter.

Boy called me to asked whether our earlier plan of hanging out together tonite is still on. After a few discussions, all of us decided to go for a karaoke session at Jalan Imbi. Drived my way to Boy's place and after picking him up, we went straight to Jalan Imbi. There was a sudden road closure there but i'm not quite sure why. We have to use the back road of Jalan Imbi to make our way to the karaoke place. Saw the old hookers that were still there and amazingly, still kinda active in doing their "social business". When i say old, i do mean really really old as in that over 40 range kinda old. That's just weird. Can you imagine like a bunch of 40 years old hookers? It's truly an unbearable sight.

Managed to get a karaoke room at 1.10 AM. As usual, i started the show with an evergreen song, "Ahmad Jais - Mengharap Sinar Menelan Kabus". Ha Ha! Followed up with "Tommy J. Pisa - Biarkan Aku Menangis". That's truly one beautiful song. I love that song. I know it's unacceptable, but i really do love that song. I even did a duet with Boy on "Samsons - Kenangan Terindah". That duet was kinda like an amazing moment for me an Boy, really. Not in a lovey dovey way, of course. No worries, we're both straight and he's scheduled to be engaged to his girlfriend by the end of this year. The reason why i'm saying that it's kinda amazing here is because i've known Boy for like 10 years now, since high school and in that 10 years period of time, we have never like go for a karaoke nite together. Karaoke session have never crossed our thoughts when ever we hang out with the gang (Hairul and Erwin) for the last 10 years. So, the karaoke session that we had tonite was kinda like the benchmark of a new thing that me and Boy have ventured in together.

Left the place at 2.10 AM. Buzzed up Fara and Wawa asking where they are. I told them that i'll kidnap them up earlier tonite for a drink session at around 1 AM. But since the karaoke session finished up at 2.10 AM, both of them told me that they were kinda tired at the moment. Wawa asked me to give her a call tomorrow. So, tomorrow it is then.

Boy invited me to join him up for a drink session with Alan and the gang at Hartamas. Alan is an old friend of mine. Nice guy. We were just hanging out at Hartamas until 4.58 AM exchanging recent news on each other.

One more thing, have i told you guys that 90% of my conversation with Boy today was in English? It's just weird. I truly don't know how this happen. It seems that both of us were really comfortable talking in English. We were discussing on a lot of things. Mostly on our perspectives of life. There were a few things that we both discussed tonite that were kinda interesting to me:

(a) I got a friend who asked me out for a club nite out session. I told him that i only have like 20 bucks in my wallet. He told me to be a "risk taker". Quite worrying bout that 20 bucks and let just have fun tonite. I said, "I'll be a risk taker if you give me 100 bucks for me to support myself tomorrow. If you're willing to do that, then i'll definitely be a risk taker."

(b) Don't blame life on all the stupid things that have happen to you. You can't blame life if you're not doing anything at all to change your own stupid life. The choice is in our hands. People do mistakes, but how many people do learn from their mistakes? Never blame life if you're the one who's like keep on repeating your own mistakes time and time again. Instead of whining, why not change it?

(c) "All the things that i do in my life only hurts myself. I drink, took some weed and live my life as a party animal. But i never disturb anyone else." The big question here, it's good to know that you're not hurting anybody else, but does that mean it is right for you to destroy or hurt your own self? How much do you worth? 20 bucks?

(d) "Let's go get drunk tonite. I only have like 20 bucks. I have a lot of troubles in my life at the moment. I don't have a lot of money. It's hard for me to get money. So, i would just like to get drunk tonite so that i could just forget about all this money problem in my miserable life. Let's just forget about this thing, just for tonite. Let's have fun. Yup, you'll forget bout this money problem tonite. But as you said, the problem will be gone for just one night. Is it possible for you to wake up tomorrow with 1 million suddenly appearing in your bank's account? Even if it happen, what would you do with that 1 million? Would you go and get drunk again, since you're now able to pay for all the booze in the whole entire bar? If you don't get that 1 million, would that problem be gone tomorrow? You'll still wake up with 5 bucks in your wallet, or if you're lucky that someone else is buying you the drinks, you'll still only have 20 bucks with you. You'll definitely face this money issue again in 2 or 3 days time. What you gonna do now? Get drunk again?

We were discussing about this matter for a friend of Boy that we met tonite was experiencing a major financial crisis and he was kinda like expressing his depressions to Boy and somehow hoped that he could discussed over this matter with him and gain some useful tips on sorting his problems out. I don't want to get myself involved in the personal conversation between him and Boy but since he was like opening up the discussion, i decided to have a listen at his hard situations and tried to lend him a helpful hand in any way possible. Anyway, i've known this guy for quite a long time and besides being sweet, nice and noble, he is unfortunately also a party animal. The first question that popped up from his mouth the moment he saw me tonite was "Are you going to be at the Recharge party at Melaka next month?". I just smiled at him. There's definitely no harm in being a party animal here if you want to. That's your choice. Who the fuck am i to stop you in doing what you want and being what you wanna be? But you got to know your own limits, aite. For me, who cares what he wanna do with life. It's his life anyway. Just don't come back to me whining on that whole "I-Don't-Have-Enough-Money-And-Life-Just-Sucks" crap shit afterwards.

Do i sounded angry here? Sorry if i did. I'm not angry, i swear. I'm just feeling pity towards people who would just not learn from their bad experiences in the past. I'll forgive him if he was like 20 but this guy is 25! Come on, dude!

If you earn like 3 K a month but you're spending like 4 K every month on buying booze and partying all nite long, then definitely your money will never be enough, dude. Can't a 25 years old chap do this sort of simple math count?

I'm not saying that i'm an anti social here. Boy drinks. Same as me. I'm still drinking until this very day, occasionally. But i chose not to do it at the moment simply because i need that money for something else such as my credit cards payment, my car payment and my foods. Would you be interested in paying my debts for me? If i have extra cash, i'll definitely go and get myself a bottle of Heineken, without any hesitation.

The thing is, life sucks if you make it sucks. There are a lot of times when i just think of getting myself drunk, take some weed and dancing in a club. There's no problem for me in doing it. It's just that i believe that it would be much better to do something like these when you're capable financially and mentally. There's no fun for me in doing it now and still worrying bout my sadness issues the next day. It's just gonna lead me to a never ending sadness shit.

Boy told me and i quoted, "We're definitely not getting older or wiser for thinking this way. We're just in the learning stages of picking ourselves back up piece by piece after experiencing all that shits that we've done earlier due to our own stupidities." And honestly, i do agree with him on this one. Age does not matter. You can be 25, 30 or even 55. If you still keep on doing all the stupid things and not learning anything from it, eventually you will stay being stupid for the rest of your fuckin life. Get it?

I told Boy's friend, "A close friend of mine told me before that some people learn it from the hard way. The only thing that you can do here is to try your very best in applying the lessons that you've learnt in your ongoing life".

And don't give me that "Life Begins At 40" shit. Maybe you're right there. Life do begins at 40. But you'll might be dead by 50 or 60, man. You can't predict how long you'll live. You should be grateful if you can even reach 40.

And yup, you might have a fuckin rich family. But, note one thing. That money that you have with you is not your money, it's your parents. You have nothing without them. You can financially depends on your parents now, but do you have an idea on how long would they live? Even if they die and pass you a whole shit load of money or better yet, a multi national company, people will always say that you got that from your mom and dad. You're nothing without them. Wouldn't you want to prove them wrong?

I do believe that's how the term "Dia tu anak Datuk" is truly popular back here in Malaysia.

Yup, it's true if you say that people won't stop talking even if you're rich due to your own effort. If they still think that way, just let it be that way. The most important thing is, you know the truth yourself. Be proud about it then. Fuck with the people. They can't hurt you with their words. You've proved your ability to your own self. That's what really important. That's your pride that you can truly be proud of, dude.

Sincere apologies if you don't agree with me on all the shits that i'm putting down here. It's merely a personal opinion of mine. If you don't kinda like it, i just got 2 words for you. Go figure.